waitingintheflowers:

tatbrochu:

tessa-ferrer:

How to come out to your parents:
Say: “I’m pregnant.”
When they gasp and look shocked, say: “April Fools, I’m gay.” Throw some glitter on them and walk away. Done.

when i told my dad ‘dad i have something to tell you’ he screamed ‘ARE YOU PREGNANT’ and i said ‘HA nope, i like girls’ and he was like ‘oh thank god’ so yeah it works and he did it all by himself

….how would this work if you are a non vagina person????????????

I would like to point out that if you build it up enough, people will forget that it is impossible for you to get pregnant for at least a couple seconds, and the relief factor will still be there.

It’s Monday,
and your hair is messy.
You haphazardly put on your jeans and shirt
as you moan about the day of the week -
and I love you.

It’s Tuesday,
and you’re stumbling your way around the room,
trying to sort out the things you have to do.
You stop to briefly kiss the freckles on my nose,
asking me about my day -
and I love you.

It’s Wednesday,
and you’re quietly sprawled on the couch.
You pat the spot next to you and pepper kisses on my hair
because it’s my least favorite day of the week (and you know it) -
and I love you.

It’s Thursday,
and you’re wondering what the weekend will bring,
but you’re still moaning about how
the week is going by too slow for your tastes -
and I love you.

It’s Friday,
and I’m surrounded by DVDs and snacks
you’ve prepared when I was gone.
You welcome me with blankets and warmth from your arms -
and I love you.

It’s Saturday,
and you’re feeling lazy.
You won’t let me leave your arms
(or is it the other way around?)
So you tuck me under your chin as we both wonder
how much time we have left
before sleep makes us miss each other’s faces -
and I love you.

It’s Sunday,
and there’s nothing much to say but
I love you.

Loving you (NJ.)

(via dryfalls)

khaleesri:

"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel. 

(via bitterassfandom)

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK

YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD

 MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE

(via queercred)

ofdarklands:


browneyedcunt:


jillstrif:




Kell fell asleep on the couch one night so we gave him a pillow and a blanket Which we made out of kleenex because we always have those around on our coffee table for when we watch feely stuff


MY HEART


doesn’t even go with my blog but i can’t scroll past this without regretting not reblogging it.


#how does a cat with a kleenex pillow ‘not go with your blog’#what are you doing with your life

ofdarklands:

browneyedcunt:

jillstrif:

Kell fell asleep on the couch one night so we gave him a pillow and a blanket Which we made out of kleenex because we always have those around on our coffee table for when we watch feely stuff

MY HEART

doesn’t even go with my blog but i can’t scroll past this without regretting not reblogging it.

#how does a cat with a kleenex pillow ‘not go with your blog’#what are you doing with your life

(via misskusakabe)

british-animals:

A swan, as you have never seen photographed before by Gerald Robinson

british-animals:

A swan, as you have never seen photographed before by Gerald Robinson

(via would-you-like-a-jelly-baby)

transheadcold:

fat-birds:

Amethyst-Glanzstar - Cinnyricinclus leucogaster - Violet-backed Starling by StefanKoeder on Flickr.
look at this shiny mofo. it should be illegal to be that fancy.

I can’t get over how purple this bird is i want to softly kiss its feathers

transheadcold:

fat-birds:

Amethyst-Glanzstar - Cinnyricinclus leucogaster - Violet-backed Starling by StefanKoeder on Flickr.

look at this shiny mofo. it should be illegal to be that fancy.

I can’t get over how purple this bird is i want to softly kiss its feathers

(via bitterassfandom)

A lot of Doctor Who, tea, Sherlock, and cats.
I regret nothing.

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